No-One Asked Me

Program Notes:

When the pandemic took away; in a matter of days in 2020, virtually all choral singing around the world, Laura and fellow Canadian composers, Katerina Gimon and Geung Kroeker-Lee created the Sonic Timelapse project whereby new works would be created and the community sustained through this crowdfunded initiative. No-One Asked Me was one of the resulting compositions. The text is compiled from reflections by conductors from across Canada and expresses the mixed emotions felt as our creative world was turned upside down with no end in sight.

Conductor Notes:

This piece, available in other voicings as well as treble, has an anthemic, musical theatre style and is very effective and enjoyable to perform. It would suit a massed choir very well, approachable, effectively-written for the voices, and not difficult to learn.

Composer / Arranger Notes:

The first round of Creative Reflections submitted to Sonic Timelapse came from Canadian choral conductors who shared openly about their emotional landscape at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic (spring and summer, 2020). The Sonic Timelapse composers were given access to these reflections and were asked to use them as inspiration for our new works. These submissions, plus one chorister submission from autumn 2020, provided the inspiration and text for No one asked me.

In my work as a composer, I’ve never attempted to create my own text before; I’m used to working with poetry or prose or some kind of otherwise already-completed text. For this project, I couldn’t decide which Creative Reflection to focus on for my piece, and I was at first intimidated by the idea of creating a text that captured what I wanted this piece to say. I printed out the whole collection of Creative Reflections, and realized that the material was already there, and that there was substantial overlap in what each person was expressing. I started circling bits of text that stood out for me, and cut them out with scissors, mixing together different statements from each contributor, and soon a narrative began to emerge that pointed to the roller coaster of emotions each contributor seemed to describe in their Creative Reflection. That is what this piece is about – the complex and intense spectrum of feelings and emotions associated with the first eight months of the COVID-19 pandemic, the confusion around identity, the feeling of isolation, and longing to be together with others to sing, to laugh, to dance, or just to take someone’s hand.

I found myself looking for direct delivery of text and sharing of phrases between parts in the choir to heighten the expressive drama and play with the duality between a sense of communication and a sense of isolation. I hope the wonderfully crunchy chords feel great to sing, and at the same time, this piece could also be performed entirely in unison with piano if the circumstances called for it.

For me, when I sing this, I can’t help thinking of each conductor and chorister whose words ended up in the piece – these people and their Creative Reflections play in my mind like a slide show as I sing, which brings me closer to them, even as we are far away.

Text:

No one asked me if I wanted everything to change
One day blends into the next in a slow motion fast forward
Each time I face the fear I need to turn away again
No one asked me

I am strong, yet moving with the wind,
But then I’m lost, not knowing when I’ll find my way again.
One moment I’m inspired, the next I’m overwhelmed.
I’m grateful and I’m frightened and I don’t know where I’m going

I feel it all, can you hear me?
I feel it all, will you need me?
Can you tell me who I am? When can I take your hand?
I feel it all.

I feel as if my roots are being torn and shifting in the wind
Don’t touch, don’t breathe, don’t sing to me.
I dream of the joy of dancing carelessly again
No one asked me.

I am strong, and facing all the pain,
But then I’m lost, not knowing when I’ll find my way again.
It’s out of my control – I’m fragile then I’m brave,
I’m empty and I’m hopeful and I don’t know where I’m going.

[Refrain]

I believe I’m in the right place at the right time.
We’re connected in ways no one can see
Powerless to change, building resilience
When will we find our way?

I am strong, yet moving with the wind,
And when I’m lost, I know that I will find my way again.

I feel it all, can you hear me?
I feel it all, will you need me?
Can you tell me who I am? When can I take your hand?
I feel it all.

Text Source

Compiled by Laura Hawley from reflections by conductors from across Canada during the pandemic in 2020.